Bah HUMBUG!!

Being out of work on a medical leave is really, REALLY, starting to SUCK HARD CORE!!! I hate not being able to do anything, so I decided I was going to help my grandmother out and start putting up the Christmas decorations!! I was so excited! I called my bff and she came over to help me pull the stuff out of the garage and set up. I spent most of the day setting everything up and making it magical! Grams comes home and all she has to say is "wow, how did you manage if your foot hurts"!!! No thank you, I hate it, I love it, suck it...NOTHING!!! BUT, she did tell my bff thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! Then to make it worse, the next day I wake up to find that she has moved all of them around. As if to say that what I did wasn't good enough and didn't meet her standards! I'm so upset!!!! She was already mad at David for being a teenager (God forbid), and now she's taking it out on me. This was all on Tuesday. Wed-Sat, she says maybe 5 words to me. So tonight I decide to ask her if she is mad at me. She says no, and of course turns it around to make me out to be the bad guy because I dared to put the decorations up, and how DARE I not color code them! REALLY!!! It's Christmas! LEAVE THEM ALONE. Then she tells me that I didn't even bother to put the boxes away and the back is left a mess. OK...there are plastic containers NEATLY stacked in the back room. THEY ALL HAVE ORNAMENTS IN THEM. I didn't put them back because we still have to get a tree to put them on. Long story short, I am never, I repeat, NEVER doing decorations again. She can put them up her DAMN SELF, the way she wants them. It was so not worth my hurt feelings and tears!! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!!!

Woo!!!

Oh boy. Talk about a busy week ahead of me!! My best friend, Carissa is getting married and I'm throwing her a lingerie shower!! It's going to be so much fun. However, I was thinking 15 people!! She gives me to guest list so I can put the invites together (that have to go out no later than Tuesday!!) and there are 40 women on the list!!! OH MAN!! I didn't buy enough invites and they don't sell the ones I bought anymore. So I figured since I have so much free time right now due to NOT WORKING I would hand make them all. A trip to Michael's is just what I need. Card stock, cute stamp of a corset or something honeymoon sexyish, ink, envelopes, small rhinestones, postage, and glue...maybe even some ribbon!! I hope these come out great!! I need to find someone who has a cricket so I can add some writing to the front of the card!! Then I decided that while I'm at Michael's I'm gonna grab me some new knitting needles and pretty yarn to make some new scarves!!!!!!!! That should keep me busy this week!!!

So the verdict is that I have to be off my foot for at least another 7 DAYS!!! LOL. I start physical therapy next friday, 3 times a week. Not sure how I'm going to do in the house for another 7 days...luckily I have really great friends who are helping break me out of this joint! HEHEHE!!! I'm went to lunch today and I'm gonna go see a show tonight. Monday my friend is turning 21 so I'm going to sit at the table and watch everyone have some much needed drinks...I can't have a few much needed drinks because I'm on pain meds but thats ok!! I excited that he's excited to be 21!!!! WOOOHOOO!!! Oh and I have a baby shower to go to on sunday! Bring on the weekend!

Seriously bored day number 4!!

I am so bored again today. I don't know how much more I can stand. Its one thing to WANT to be in be all day and another to HAVE to be!!! On the brighter side, the internet and cable is on so I don't have to stay in my room. I can now get lost in and catch up on mindless high school drama tv.

I LOVE THIS SONG!!!

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow,
I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors,
oh andLife ain't always what you think it ought to be,
no ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life,
well I’ve had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life,
well I’ve had just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life,
well I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boots and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts,
oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a gonner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

oh oh
The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh

The sharp knife of a short life,
well I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boots and I’ll wear my pearls

OMMYGOSH!!!

I can't believe how boring it is to HAVE to stay home all day!! It is way different when you stay home veg out when it's your choice. Today was day 3. Thank goodness for my friend Jessica. I am so glad she took me to cash my check and go to target. Although I couldn't walk for very long. I was only out for about an hour but man did it feel good!! I made some good finds. 17 Again is very funny and it was only 7 bucks so it made it that much better. And lets face it...who doesn't like a little Zack Effron to brighten their day! I know I do!!!

Ouch!!

Wednesday I'm off work and walking across main street to go home. I was stuck in a crowd of people and saw that a very very large lady in a motorized wheelchair was stopped just to the side of me. I was stuck. I couldn't move out of her way because, as usual, I was surrounded by strollers, kids, parents, people taking pictures etc. I put my hand on her arm and said..."Ma'am, please don't move because you are going to run over my foot." She looked at me and what does she do.......RUNS OVER MY FOOT!!! Are you kidding me?!?! So I bite my tongue against the words that want to fly out of my mouth look at her and said, "I told you you were going to run over my foot!" She looked at me and kept on going. PISSED, I figured it was going to bruise because like I said, she was a very very large woman and she was in a very heavy convenience vehicle. I went home thinking nothing of it. I was off on Thursday and had a hard time walking without limping. Friday I went to work and just toughed it out. Same on Saturday. Yesterday I was in so much pain I could no longer walk without wincing and wanting to burst into tears. I go to the Cast First Aid and they send me to St. Josephs where I have to wait 6 hours for them to take x-rays. I had a very good looking doctor!! WOWW!!! I fainted a little when he walked into the room. I am very glad to hear that he will be working at Cast First Aid as the new weekend doc!! I might have to get hurt more often...Anyways, It's not broken but I get to wear a wonderfully fashionable boot!! And I can't work, so I have to stay home in bed...booooooo!!! So, Thank you large lady for running over my foot, if I ever see you again I WILL punch you in the head. You have been warned!!

Work!!

Working for The Happiest Place On Earth is Amazing!!

Yesterday I walk into COMPLETE madness! Turns out the ENITRE point of sale system is down and they aren't sure when it is comming back up! Hand ringing items like you back in the 40's is not my idea of a good time, especially when you only have 2 registers to do it on and a line that goes for miles with a lot of very not happy people who "didn't pay 100 a pop to have to wait in these kind of lines". Well sir...yes you did!!! It's Disneyland...it happens and I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do at the moment...so sit down, shut up and enjoy what 100 bucks can get ya!

Yes we have days were we as cast members don't want to smile and make dreams come true...grumpy people who have no compasion DO NOT make this any better. Being yelled at for things that are out of your control DO NOT help. I understand you paid a lot of money for you and your family to get in, I understand that it is hot outside, I understand that you've been waiting a long time, AND I understand you have a reservation, but what would you like me to do???? REALLY??? I can't fix the problem I can only try and find solutions to make them easier to deal with.

On the other hand...I have days like I did today. Days that make me love my job and help me remeber one of the reasons I chose to work for Disney and why I chose to become a lead there.

Today I met some of the most amazing people. I met a family in Indiana Outpost who were so sweet! We talked for about 30 minutes about tats!! How amazing is that!!! They were funny and kind and I just loved them....AND if momma is reading this....GET THE TATTOO!!!! YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!

Then I met a women named Amy! I saw her come in being pushed in a wheelchair, face swollen, tired and the tell tale sign...a bandana on her head! CANCER! The word I hate more than any cuss word out there. It is a ruiner of lives and the ultimate homewrecker!! I asked her how she was doing and if I could help her and her friend find something, and they asked about some pins we offer. I felt an overwhelming need to ask her about her condition. I asked if she was here celebrating because of remission...she said no. I said, well I'm sure it will come soon...she said it wont. The doctors only gave me 3 months and that was in april!!! My heart was instantly sad. Tears came even tho I didn't want to cry in front of her and make it harder. I know how my mom felt when people who didn't know her cried about HER illness. Like she had to be strong for them not the other way around. But of course the tears came. AND then I asked her if I could give her a hug. She looked like she was defeated and needed one that didn't come from a loved one. One that showed her people cared. She said of course! I gave her the biggest longest hug I could without it being sexual harrasment!!

Her name is Amy...she has six children ages 7-18. She is a beautiful women, with a lot of strength...she need our prayers! Her children need our prayers most of all. Dying is the easy part! It's the people that have to stay behind that it's hard for.

Another lady asked me when Amy had left how I got over my moms death because she would be afraid for her kids...I told her "you don't get over it...EVER. You learn to live with it"

She left with a smile and a handfull of celebration pins...because they are celebrating her!!!!

It's those moments that put yesterday away and make my job so AMAZING!!! Thank you to those guests for today! You are amazing and I am truly blessed to have met you!

Amy...you are in my thoughts and prayers always!!!

JESUS IS ENOUGH

Ok...So I'm going to get religous. I've been a born again christian most of my life. I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and died for my sins on a cross. I know that a lot of people that I love and are very precious to me don't believe the same thing, so I try not to shove it down their throats. I also know that there was a time when I chose to be angy with God for things that were out of my control and I felt that God should've fixed them so I wouldn't have to hurt. I have also experienced times where even in the church I grew up in, people turned their back on me. Feeling like the "prodical son" sucks. And sure everyone is super (fake) happy to see you and "so glad you're feeling better", but still you know that somehow you just don't fit into the group anymore. Anyway, the point is...I know what its like to be both on the inside of the group and what it's like standing on the outside feeling like you are not worthy. Since when is Christ blood for those who are already christians or for those who live rightious lives. I now realize what it's like for those who didn't grow up in the church...who wants to feel like that. It's no wonder people who are lost and broken choose to go to "drugs, sex, and rock 'N' roll" instead of turning to the one thing that can really truly fill that whole that feels endlessly deep! This song sums it up perfectly



Does Anybody Hear Her

By: Casting Crowns



She is running

A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

She is trying

But the canyon's ever widening

In the depths of her cold heart

So she sets ou on another misadventure just to find

She's another two years older

And she's three more steps behind



Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

Or does anybody even know she's going down today

Under the shadow of our steeple

With all the lost and lonley people

Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?



She is yearning

For shelter and affection

That she never found at home

She is searching

For a hero to rinde

To ride in and save the day

And in walks her prince charming

And he knows just what to say

Momentary lapse of reason

And she gives herself away



Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

Or does anybody even know she's going down today

Under the shadow of our steeple

With all the lost and lonely people

Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?



If judgement looms under every steeple

If lofty glances from lofty people

Can't see past her scarlet letter

And we've never even met her



If judgement looms under every steeple

If lofty glances from lofty people

Can't see past her scarlet letter

And we've never even met her

Never even met her



Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?

Or does anybody even know she's going down today

Under the shadow of our steeple

With all the lost and lonely people

Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?



He is running a hundered miles an hour in the wrong direction.



So why is it as a church we turn our backs on those who need it most. Since when do we get to decide who Christ died for. WE DON'T! He died for all of us. I promise that I will be accepting and try not to pass judgement on those who are in need. I want and will be an example of Christ and show people the things that he has saved me from, and how he has changed me. That is my promise to you!! Whoever reads this. Jesus wouldn't turn his back on you just because of your "scarlet letter" so neither am I.

He loves us!!!

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great you affections are for me

And oh,
how he loves us so
oh how he loves us
how he loves us so

Repeat first verse

Yeah, he loves us
Oh! How He loves us
Oh! How He loves us
Oh! How He loves

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
and heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way...


I can't tell you how these lyrics have changed my life!! There is not a time when I sing these words and can literally feel Gods arms around me. I first heard this song almost 2 years ago, when I thought "I don't think my life get any worse". To think that GOD is jealous for ME!!! Looking at myself what is there to be jealous of...but He is. HE IS MY PRIZE!!!!

OH HOW HE LOVES US SO!!!!!

Body Modification

The question is...Body Modification: Modification or Mutilation?

So I watched a documentary called "Modify". I was horrified and yet couldn't take my eyes off the freakin screan. The things people will do to their bodies, whether it be for attention, pleasure, satisfaction or what I'm not sure. All of it was amazing. It really makes you think about the spectrum of modification and how large it really is. As a society we only like to think of it as a small hair color, spring break tattoo, I want bigger boobs sort of thing, when in reality it goes way beyond that. When you think of people hanging from hooks that are pierced through their skin, surgical scaring, penis and hood piercings, it open a whole new chapter. Sure I am guilty of modifying my looks by adding some glitz to my glamour, adding highlights to my hair...hell I even have a few tats. All of which I have recieved because I like it and it makes me feel better about myself or I think it looks pretty. But when a person goes as far as to change themselves into a "stalking cat" it makes me wonder why? What posseses a person to hate themselves that much that they would get rid of any reminder of how they looked when they were "normal". This doesn't go towards only that extreme, but to others as well. Body builders that look like The Incredible Hulk, women who have so much plastic surgery their own mother wouldn't recognize them, and to the men who want to be women and the women who want to be men. Don't get me wrong, I'm down for some wash board abs, and if a woman wants a bigger set of boobs then great, but really? How far is too far? When does it stop? I know the whole "it's my body" argument but when it starts effecting everyday life, should there be a line? I don't think it should be a matter of government, but I do think that some lines have been crossed!!! And please do say it's not for the attention!! When I get my hair done, I want people to notice and tell me it looks nice, and when I take the extra 10 minutes to "put some glitz in my glamour" I like the "wow" look on peoples faces. And please don't get offended when people stare at you like you're a walking freak show. If you don't want the negative feedback then don't do it, or stay inside. It is very hard for people to look past what you look like on the outside to see the inside. If you look like a monster with devil horns included people are going to stare and come to conclusions that may or may not be true. I'm sure you are a wonderful person on the inside but when nobody wants to get close to your outside, it makes you stop and wonder!

Okay, so I'm not very good at keeping a journal so I thought maybe a blog would be better! I don't mind if nobody reads it (although it would be cool) I'm just writing to write. Lord knows I have a lot to say and love to speak my mind! Heres to blogging!!!